Tuesday, May 27, 2014

No Regrets

 2014 has been a difficult year with the passing of my father in February and the passing of a long-time friend who left this world in April.  I saw the list below and it made me think that life is so very short, it passes by so very quickly and before you realize it our time in this world is gone.

A palliative care nurse came up with the top five regrets people make on their deathbed: 

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.

I made a radical change in my life mid-30's, quit a great job, moved to the country, wrote a book, met my husband. It was a difficult choice to make but it was one of the happiest years of my life. Since then, I have been living a life that I truly love, not the one my parents probably thought I'd live but I have a great life, a great husband, a great family, and that one year allowed that radical change.  It was difficult, but just do it!


2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret.

This one is really tough.  In today's world, at least here in the U.S., work expectations are unrealistic and if you don't "do it" your chances of moving up the ladder are dim. Been there, done that.  It's a balancing act, and your have to walk a tight line between doing a great job but having a life at the same time. If you have the answer here please let me know.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

A close friend's brother is ill, very ill, and his suppressed anger all these years over losing a sibling at an early age has been bottled up inside all these years, now he's really sick... very sad. Deal with your emotions before they deal with you!

That's another friend Laura who also left this world way too early, just another reminder in case you need one!

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.

 That's my pal Jessica, at the U.S. Open.  Great friends are just life's gift.  Cherish them!

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

Truman has figured out the happiness part!  
Have a regret-free day and live it!


  1. When I look back at what I did, without much thought [and I am a true commitment- phobe!], as a recent college grad making a whopping $7 an hour... took the $1200 from my 10 year old VW Rabbitt getting rear ended [and 'total'd'] and bought my horse... I shake my head. WHAT was I thinking?!

    And then there are the next 23 years to consider... because of him I endeavored to be a better horseman, which took me to PA and ISF... which put me in touch with a Vet who suggested a career that brought me here where I met my husband and eventually had my son.
    Now that my horse is gone... I look back incredulous that I ever took that one leap that was so out of character... but gave me so much! = GRATEFUL!
    {miss you Boo}

  2. Really good post. Something we all need to read and remember-repeatedly. Thanks.

  3. Thank you, Ann - much food for thought.

  4. Great post. My cat certainly has "the life."

  5. A great reminder... Thanks for sharing...


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