Wednesday, June 26, 2013

How to Advertise Your Horse

Ever wondered when you see a horse advertised for sale what the words in the ad really mean.....well here is what the verbage really means....

Big trot - can't canter

Nicely started - lunges but can't afford insurance to ride him

Top show horse - won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with low entries due to a hurricane.

Home bred - knows nothing except being raised on the front porch

Recently vetted - someone else found somthing terribly wrong 

Big boned - good thing he has a mane and tail otherwise would be mistaken for a cow or a draft

Doing courses - when tranqualized and lunged for 6 hours beforehand

Well-mannered - hasn't stepped on, bitten, dragged or kicked anyone for a week

Professionally trained - hasn't stepped on, bitten, dragged or kicked anyone for a month

Should mature to 16.hh - currently 15.hh and dam is 14.2hh, sire is 15.hh and every ancestor is under 15.hh but this horse will defy his DNA and grow

Bold - runaway

Athletic - runaway

Needs intermediate rider - runaway

Needs experienced rider-"dead" runaway

Dead quiet - when drugged and lunged (see above)

No vices - especially when he wears a muzzle

Excellent disposition - never been out of his stall

Good broodmare prospect -not a chance she is rideable

Good dressage prospect - tried him in hunter and he's a maniac over fences or hangs legs badly over the jumps

Good western prospect - only if you are into bucking broncos

Easy to catch - only if you are in a 10 by 10 stall

Loads well - after starving for three days and putting grain inside the trailer

Spirited - loves to run out all the time, even with a rider on its back

Good mother - awful at everything else

Easy breeder- a stallion that will mount everything that moves

Spectacularly marked - terrible conformation but pretty spots

Always in the ribbons -10th place out of 10 riders

Scopey - jumps out of every paddock

Wonderful halter prospect - bred for beauty, not brains

Ladies horse - loves women but will kill any man

Easily ridable in halter and lead - just don't put a saddle on her

Works well off of rear - because the front is usually off the ground

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious. I've bought so many over the years and donated a few. Never got into the selling thing, but I've encountered lots of these excuses!
    xo Nancy


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...