Friday, January 4, 2019

Where Has Our Civility Gone?

There are certain things in the new world order that I truly miss but am afraid are not coming back.  Here's what I miss, in no particular order.....

1) The Thank You Note
We all know that manners went out with the hand held telephone.  If someone sends you a gift you should write them a thank you note.  At the very least, send them an email.  But this takes so little effort. My gift giving is going the way of the dinasour - if you can't thank someone for a present then you don't deserve to receive it IMHO.  This is very rude.

2) The R.S.V. P.
One of my New Year's Resolutions is to quit entertaining. I am so tired of spending time and effort on parties, get togethers - people do not respond.  I had a party this year in which half of the invitees did not respond at all.  There is just no excuse. And if you don't know what R.S.V.P. means then Google it.  You shouldn't have to send out an R.S.V.P. card with an invitation to get people to respond. 

3) Dressing Up for Parties, for Funerals
Unfortunately I've had to attend more funerals during the past few months than I care to mention.  What I have noted, however, is that in certain parts of the country it's okay to wear casual pants and even jeans to a funeral.  I'm not referring to a visit to the funeral home or to a personal home (which is also faux pas to me) but to a formal funeral ceremony in a church.  Where is the dignity?   Buy a black dress. Keep it in your closet just for funerals.  Show your loved ones some dignity in death please.

4) Dinners Without Smart Phones
Nothing peeves me more than to go out to dinner or to a dinner at someone's house where no one speaks to one another but has their head buried in their chest texting.  This is so rude. If you can't have a conversation with someone over dinner then you don't deserve to be invited to the table.  Have we become so tethered to our phones that we can't put them down for 45 minutes?  Apparently so.

5) Conversations Without Smart Phones
See #5 above.  Ditto
If you don't know how to have a conversation without texting I have big news.  If you want to get a job and work in this world in an office, in a decent company you'd better learn, quickly.  We don't communicate via text in corporate America. 

6) Elaborate Dinner Parties
These have also left the country.  No one has nice, formal dinner parties anymore. I know I am guilty but I tire when no one responds, no one reciprocates and no one appreciates the time and effort it takes to put one of these on. And then people show up and text.  And don't wear jeans! Wash.Rinse.Repeat.

7) Civility in General
We have simply left our manners in another world.  I was at a party over the holidays and the guests were loudly talking about a party that I knew that many of the guests were not invited to. This was very rude behaviour.  We don't think about people anymore.  We don't do nice things for our neighbors and we don't have conversations with anyone. Our instant gratification world has turned into just that.  What's in it for me? What do I gain out of this?  How do I benefit?  That's what's important. It's very sad to me.  Hoping for a better 2019 but I am not hopeful.


  1. I agree with all your statements on civility. As for dinner parties, I invite my group of friends who I know will respond in a timely manner.. Sometimes you have to cut out the 'dead wood' on the invitation list...

    It's a shame; it really is. When I grew up, no matter what your social or economic status manners were taught. It was the sign of a properly raised person. It had nothing to do with how much money you had..Now, to have manners is considered to be 'putting on airs'.. where it should be normal behavior..

    Let's hope for a better 2019.. You never know!

  2. Amen! Agreed on all points! Please and thank you? Holding the door for someone. Ugh I could go on and on.
    PS thank you for doing the blog, I know it’s not an easy thing to do.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...